Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Life with Q

Being a baby has its good side and its bad side. The bad side, I suppose would be trying to get these dim witted beings called parents to figure out what it is you need so you can stop crying. As parents, sometimes it is easy to figure out the reason for the whimpering, or the soft crying, or even the screaming. Other times it is just a Hilary Clinton type throw everything including the kitchen sink at it debacle. We scramble to try to feed her, rock her, change her, sing to her, and amuse her to make it stop. Sometimes you guess right and the screaming subsides, and other times you keep trying until she just gives up or passes gas. The good news for us is that "this too shall pass".

On the flip side I think being a baby has its great moments. Well, I think so since I am so jealous of her life style at the moment. It reminds me of myself on summer vacations during high school. Eat, sleep, poop, and a little play time to break up the monotony when you can't sleep.

Two days a week I get the opportunity to take care of Q all by myself for the day. If you are a husband who has to take care of his child, be advised that calling it baby-sitting can be detrimental to your marital relationship. I luckily dodged that bullet because the first time I had to define to another person what it was I was doing I luckily said I was taking care of the baby. When L said," I am glad you are not one of those guys that thinks it's babysitting when it is their own child." I knew that saying 'baby-sitting' would be a bad thing. See, guys are capable of learning. That is not the only thing I have learned. In fact I learned something just today.

Most days that I take care of the baby my wife, L, comes home and notices that I have used bottles, but I have not cleaned any bottles. Even after several days of comments on this she still failed to come home and see any bottles washed. Yes, I know you are thinking that is laziness on my part, and that probably is a little at play, but really I have gone there and looked at them with intentions to wash some. The problem arises when I would try to figure out how I would get my normal sized man hand into that tiny baby sized bottle opening to wash it no answers came to mind. So today when she asked me to wash them I just came out and told her I'm just not sure how that is done. The look she gave me was one of not being sure whether or not to believe that I am really that slow. Turns out I really am. Luckily I have a wonderful and patient wife who simply dug out the special tools required for the job. Who would have thought that there were special brushes for bottles, and for the nipple parts of the bottle? Well, now I know. Bottle cleaning lesson learned, and I will even wash the bottles today. No, don't laugh, seriously I will.

I also learned about diapers. The whole diaper thing was new to me when we had T. I wasn't sure about it, but in truth I did make an agreement with L that when she had a baby I would do my share of diaper changes. Like most guys, I was hoping my share would be on those days when no one else was around. (And possibly no one was within driving distance from the house, or at least a short airline flight.) Luckily for me we had a nurse at the hospital when T was born who didn't feel I had the right to stand around while the baby needed changed and my wife was in bed. She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me over for the brief course in cleaning a baby bottom and applying a diaper. I seriously thank her for that forwardness. Sure, diapers tend to smell bad at times, but not as bad as one might think. It is just another type of bonding moment with your child that makes you a little closer to them. When I put Q on the changing table she looks up at me and smiles. Sometimes she even tries talking to me. We talk, and laugh and when we are done with the unpleasantness of cleaning her bottom we can stay there and lock eyes and have imaginary conversations. I imagine her babbling is actual words, and I wait for her to pause so I can talk and answer her question. Then I pick her up, all clean and fresh smelling and give her a kiss and a hug and carry her back out to the living room to continue her routine of eating, sleeping and pooping.

With T we used plastic disposable diapers, and I got used to that fairly easily. Then L wanted to change things again and use cloth diapers this time with Q. At first, I was not on board. I had in mind the type that my mom had to use in the 60's with a diaper cleaning service, safety pins, and the whole hassle. My loving and patient wife went ahead and explained to me how things work in the 21st century. You wouldn't believe it. They now make cloth diapers that are as easy to use as disposable diapers. The bonus is you don't have to feel so guilty every time people talk about the diapers that are overfilling our landfills. With the new cloth diapers they look like a disposable. They have the same shape, and even have velcro side tabs that you just wrap around the baby and fasten. It turns out that it is so easy to use that even I can do it. (If you want more information about these diapers you can probably find some on L's website (girl in ga). I have a link to it on the left sidebar.)

To summarize; Q gets to sleep a lot, gets changed frequently into a clean cloth diaper, and drinks milk often from clean bottles that are cleaned with special brushes that I now know how to find and how to use. I, her happy and slightly slow witted father, is willing to learn new things in order to be a better dad and to keep her happy, fed and clean. All in all, I would say things are working out well and I am glad to be able to spend these two days a week with my baby.

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